Getting Clear to Hear
The missing step to hearing your body
It’s my humble opinion that one of the main responsibilities of parenting, besides providing food, shelter, safety, clothing, and kindness, is to be a guide and mentor.
As a guide, you’re leading the way, practicing what you’re teaching. This world is hard place to navigate and there’s always something to process, so as a mentor, you’re also talking through things, sharing your experience, and listening to your children’s point of view.
For the last fifteen years, I’ve been teaching my kids to listen to their instincts, their intuition and their body. If you’ve ever tried this, you’ll know the process involves quieting the mind, breathing, and focusing your attention on the body. But to get really good at hearing, I’ve also found a crucial step to take before you listen.
PARENTAL WARNING - teaching my children to listen to their instincts and intuition was not only a guiding process, it was a letting go process. I was training them to listen to themselves - not to me.
Audio Recording: Getting Clear to Hear
“Do you think I have strep throat?”asked Dominic.
My son was riding shotgun. His hair was in that awkward phase - not short, not long, and in his eyes too much. He tilted his head against the headrest and stared out the window.
I was driving somewhere to do something. The details escape me, but I do remember feeling excited about this teaching moment.
“What do you think?” I said, my first attempt at getting him to listen to himself.
I could hear him roll his eyes, “I don’t know, that’s why I asked you.”
“Hey, kiddo. This is a super cool moment, because you can check in with your gut and see what your body tells you - THEN - we can go to the doctor to find out if you’re right.”
“What are you talking about?” he said.
“Well, your body knows you have a sore throat. It’s the one telling you that your throat hurts. So, you can get clear and ask your body if you have strep. See what it tells you.”
“I don’t know.”
“I know YOU don’t know. You’re stuck in your mind with all your thoughts. But, I’m telling you your body knows. It’s the one reacting to the virus or bacteria. It’s the one putting up the fight. You’re the one experiencing the fallout.”
He ignores me and stares out the window.
“Look, your body is talking to you already. Your sore throat is one way it’s communicating with you. You can start a dialogue and practice listening to it.”
“I’m not going to hear anything,” he said.
“You won’t hear anything if you don’t listen. Come on, try it.”
Sigh. “Fine, what do I do?”
“Well first, put your hands on your stomach and close your eyes.”
He sighs, gives into my strange suggestions, closes his eyes and puts his hands on his stomach.”
“Now take a few deep breaths.”
By the third breath I can tell he’s visibly calmer and focused.
“Now, this is a very important part. Whenever you practice this, don’t forget this part.” I pause for effect. “Take all your fears about being sick … AND all your ideas that this is silly and you can’t possibly get an answer from your body … take everything you think you know, and just for a moment, SET ALL OF IT ASIDE. Move it out of your way. You can put it out the door. You can set it in the backseat.”
I wait a few beats, then add, “you need to set it aside to get clear. If your judgments and ideas are too close to you, they will cloud your answer.”
I wait another few moments, “Did you set all that stuff aside?”
He nods.
“Okay, ready?”
“Ready.”
“Focus your attention on your gut, on your stomach. Take a deep breath. Now ask it, Do I have strep throat? Then listen.”
He’s quiet for about ten seconds, then opens his eyes and looks at me. “HUH. I don’t think I have it. It’s probably just a cold.”
“See, you can hear your body!”
“I guess so.”
As promised, we followed up with the doctor and his strep test was negative.
One way to practice listening to your body and your intuition is to do what I did with Dominic; Test it on things you can get a YES or NO answer to.
Here’s 3 important things to remember:
You’re not going to always get it right. That’s okay. It’s a practice and it’s all good information. It’s just as important to get the wrong answer then look back and see what was influencing you, as it is to get the right answer.
On the whole, the better you get at setting aside all your fears, expectations, knowledge, ideas, beliefs and desires, the better you’ll be at hearing your body, your intuition and your instincts. It’s a process of discernment and the more your practice, the more you’ll start to feel when you’re in your own way.
Your body, not your brain, is living in the world. Your body experiences this world through its senses. It sends messages to your brain to tell you what’s happening in your world and in your body. On the other hand, your brain floats in cerebral spinal fluid and is separated from the body by the blood-brain barrier. It relies on interpreting the messages from your senses, but it’s also filled with thoughts, past experiences, beliefs, and expectations. By setting aside everything this practice will help you become aware of how your body talks to you, how to respect your instincts and how to listen to yourself.
Here’s 5 Steps to Hear your intuition, your instincts and your body.
SLOW DOWN. Close your eyes, put your hands on your stomach and some deep breaths.
NAME IT. In your mind, make a list of everything you can think of that might be in your way of listening to your body or intuition.
SET IT ASIDE. Take everything you’ve named, then add to it everything you think you know about this situation, and set it all to the side.
ASK. Take a deep breath, focus on your stomach, and ask your question. The clearer you are with the question, the clearer your answer will be.
LISTEN for a response. Sometimes the answer comes right away, sometimes it comes later from life.
There’s lots more to write about this practice. It’s not a straight line. Sometimes I’m better at hearing my own intuition than other times. Sometimes I’m plain wrong. I’ll write about what to do when your gut intuition and your hearing aren’t lining up. In other words, when you get the wrong answer and how to course correct.
Until next time, peace and love,
Sidse
When I was 14, I got in a minor skiing accident while wearing truly horrible equipment. Ski Patrol was at my side before I could sit up, asking if I was OK.
It was too soon to know, but they wanted an answer. There was no time to figure it out. For some reason, one outside of reason, I said I didn't think so.
Which soon proved to be accurate. I had a chipped bone in my ankle. Since then, I've had a really good sense for what's going on with my body.
The brain is another matter.
So true and such a good reminder on many levels. Learn so much from you!