About my Treasure Trove

There’s a key that can help us all navigate the world as safely as possible. It’s the key of listening to and acting on our instincts.

I was in the Musee d’Orsay in Paris a few years ago, pre-Covid, when I saw a painting of my life, or what it had felt like the last 10 years. It’s by French painter Leon-Maxime Faivre and is called Two Mothers’. Apparently, back in 1888, he knew that mother’s did a bit more than make dinner and help with homework.

A BIT AOUT ME…

I’m a screenwriter with a handful of writing and producing credits. In 2018, I co-produced and directed a 14 episode series called Getting Out with Grace designed to provide practical tools for people getting out of prison to become successful on the outside. In 2021, I co-produced and wrote a short documentary, John’s Ultimate Illusion, which went on to win a few film festival awards. I’ve co-authored two books and I’ve done a menagerie of things in my adult life, from getting a biochem degree and dancing ballet, to being the VP of a dental manufacturing company and owning a cafe in Seattle. In addition, for my entire adult life, I’ve been a mother. My first at 19, the second at 33 and the last at 36. Thirty of the the last thirty seven years, I’ve been a single parent. I don’t mind single parenting.

So why the Two Mothers’ painting? Well, 15 years ago, shortly after my 41st birthday, I found myself in the unenviable circumstance of having ones happy and busy life as a divorcee with two young kids, shift genre’s and morph into a nightmare. To be clear, it was always a nightmare, I just didn’t know it yet. Before that moment, I was a naive antagonist. After that moment, the stark reality of my life became so terrifying and confusing that the only way I could adapt was by being in a heightened state of alert 24/7. I consciously developed coping mechanisms so I could move forward and not stay stuck in the freeze state of mind.

In the months following my awakening, a friend gave me the audio book, The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. After the first story, I was hooked. He had deftly guided a woman back through a traumatic event, helped her find her first instincts, hear what they were saying and later see how listening to them saved her life.

I did’t have access to the author, but I knew I could learn from him. I have a treasure trove of life experiences to pull from. I thought to myself, I could go back to important moments in my life, slow them down, find my instincts and see what they were saying. If he’s right, I could reprogram myself to listen for them, and learn act on them. Over the next 15 years, that’s exactly what I did, and I’ve learned some surprising truths about instincts and life.

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